Tired

Ever just looked in the mirror and stared at your face? I did that today, not realizing what I would emotionally feel like after. When the first tear fell down my cheek, I couldn't help but look at the circles under my eyes. I look old. I feel old. I see the gray hair surrounding my face, and the wrinkles around my eyes and mouth. Next month I'll be 35 years old. I have no children and am not married, nor do I have any plans of marriage...not by choice though. I want to get married and have a family, but I'm tired of waiting for that perfect guy to see the real me and and ask. I feel like I have not accomplished a thing in this life. Sure I have a few close friends, but none are local. So when I need to talk to someone, it has to be over the phone. It would be nice to just hug a friend when needed, which seems to be frequent lately. Today was not a good day for me. When my thoughts run rampant, more depressing things come to light. Thoughts I would just love to rip from my heart and brain. I'm so tired. I'm so tired I would love to just lay down and die and be done with it all.